International Day of Oh No, Not Again

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In the UK we'd say it's the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia today. I see that Wikipedia prefers a different order.

Regardless, 'IDA-HoBiT' as the UK bi community tends to pronounce it is One Of Those Days where if there's any coverage at all, it's a gay man – and if you're lucky or it's a 'women's' programme, a lesbian – opining.

I can't say it much better than this thread from Marcus:

It's #IDAHOBIT tomorrow. I think about #biphobia daily, it's tiring to face that AND people saying we are privileged to "pass as straight".

Truth is, when you're constantly mislabelled due to erasure you spend so much energy stressed about what will happen when you are revealed.

And this happens even if we're out – because people are trained to forget and go back to assuming sexuality based on couple-pairings.

We can come out of the closet, but the closet STALKS bisexuals. You forget it's there and CHOMP it swallows you again. And you don't notice.

And then it's time to start stressing again. Have I given enough clues? Did I see you at Pride? Which pronoun did I say when?

Tiring. I've come out as gay, it was easier – felt final. Which is ironic as I became bisexual three years later.

But only bisexuality can be a phase, right? So are you still bisexual? How 'bout now? Now? Now you're married? Now?

Me: "I do public speaking"
That guy: "Oh what on?"
Me: "Bisexuality & the experience of being a bi man"
Him: "How do you research that?"

That's bisexual erasure right there. And conversely, every time you see gay men asked to expert-comment on bi stories.


(Quick look to see what some of the UK's LGBT (sic) organisations have posted about today. Yep, thought so. Even though I am pleased that the LGBT Foundation is highlighting the experience of People of Colour, I struggle to find any out bisexual voice that's not within the UK bi community posting from within it.)

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